THE PERFECT MAN 
 
The perfect man is gentle 
Never cruel or mean 
He has a beautiful smile 
And keeps his face so clean. 
The perfect man likes children 
And will raise them by your side 
He will be a good father 
As well as a good husband to his bride. 
The perfect man loves cooking 
Cleaning and vacuuming too 
He'll do anything in his power 
To convey his feelings of love on you. 
The perfect man is sweet 
Writing poetry from your name 
He's a best friend to your mother 
And kisses away your pain. 
He never has made you cry 
Or hurt you In any way 
Oh, fuck this stupid poem 
The perfect man is gay.