The Final Chain Letter!
If frequent users of Email were to read this and take it
seriously, we could save about half the Internet bandwidth
and server resources that are being used needlessly today!
DISPEL THE RUMORS!!!
Whoever decided to create this note and forward it on should
receive some type of humanitarian award. It says it all!
Now THIS SHOULD be forwarded to everyone in your address book.
1. Big companies don't do business via chain letters. Bill Gates
is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation.
There is no baby food company issuing class action checks. Procter and
Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo is not
satanic. MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward
something to the most "just in case it's true". Furthermore, just
because someone said in a message, four generations back, that
"we checked it out and it's legit", does not actually make it true.
2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up
in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it
happened to his or her cousin. If you are hell-bent on believing the
kidney theft ring stories, please see:
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm.
And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued
requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and
tell their stories.
None have That's "none" - as in "zero". Not even your friend's cousin.
3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if
they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at:
http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html. Then, if you make the recipe,
decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.
4. If the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that
went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think
this information would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?
5. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever,
ever forward any e-mail containing any virus warning unless you first
confirm that an actual site of an actual company that actually deals
with viruses Try: http://www.norton.com. And even then, don't
forward it. We don't care. And you cannot get a virus from a
flashing IM or email, you have to download.... ya know, like, a
FILE! (Java beans and some IE bugs do permit some loopholes, but
you can avoid that by not automatically opening email from non-trusted
sources.)
6. There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes
headlights at another car driving at night without lights.
7. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write e-mail turn off
the "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't
care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser,
since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie
Recipe anyway.
8. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message
from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of
headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months.
It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">" that begin each line
either. Besides if it has gone around that many times, we've probably
already seen it.
9. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is
not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like
everyone to stop sending him his or her business cards. He apparently
is no longer a "little boy" either.
10. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine
work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in
response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name
and reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they do.
11. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything
that "promises" something bad will happen if you "don't," then
something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.
12. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, and PBS and NEA
funding are still vulnerable to attack (although not at the present
time) but forwarding an e-mail won't help either cause in the least.
If you want to help contact your local legislative representative,
or get in touch with Amnesty International or the Red Cross. As a
general rule,
e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with
any power to do anything about whatever the competition is complaining
about.
(P.S.: There is no bill pending before Congress that will allow
long-distance companies to charge you for using the Internet.)
Bottom Line... composing e-mail or posting something on the Net is
as easy as writing on the walls of a public restroom. Don't
automatically believe it until it's proven false... ASSUME it's false,
unless there is proof that it's true.
Now - forward this to everyone who has sent chain letters, warnings,
and other clutter to you. The only promise is, if they read this and
take it seriously, you will receive less spam.
And that's why this is the final email chain letter! ;-)