CLASSIC CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS

        

* Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles, and other 
items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to CRIPPLE 
children.

*The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning 
at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the 
Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

* Evening massage - 6 p.m.

* The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the 
congregation would lend him their electric girdles for 
the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

* Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 
7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

* Ushers will eat latecomers.

* For those of you who have children and don't know it, 
we have a nursery downstairs.

* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church 
and community.

* The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's 
Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The 
congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

* The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. 
Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who 
laboured the whole evening at the piano, which as usual 
fell upon her.

* On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: 
GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

* Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

* Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

* Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church 
secretary.

* 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the 
addition of several new members and to the deterioration 
of some older ones.

* The choir invites any member of the congregation who 
enjoys sinning to join the choir.

* Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large 
double door at the side entrance.