Deity Viruses. (Also Known as: If the Gods Were Viruses).
written by Wulf Lokison
Many of us have heard of the "It Takes Guts to Say Jesus"
Virus (Which by the way, is a hoax). Some have speculated
about another possible "Jesus Virus", which, even if you
clean it off your hard drive, returns in three days.
There are other, less well known Deity Viruses, each with
their own unique signature behavior. Here I list a few of
them.
The Demeter Virus freezes your entire computer for six
months.
The Loki virus messes with your system, do all kinds of
things to totally create chaos with the puter, then
installs incredibly useful software that you never dreamed
of using.
The Valkyrie Virus would completely kill your hard drive,
then would transform your computer into a new model filled
with wargames and gourmet recipe software, all from
Valhalla Software.
The Odin Virus would hang up your screen for nine days,
then would fill your email with cryptic messages.
The Selene Virus would alternately fill up and erase your
hard drive, every 28 days.
The Zeus Virus will interact with every piece of software
on your computer, reproducing itself in many new and unique
forms.
The Hera Virus identifies all software infected with the
Zeus Virus, or it's progeny, and will attempt to delete it
from your computer, often with disastrous results.
The Jehovah Virus destroys all other software on your
computer, promises incredible future benefits if you ONLY
use it's propietary code, then makes you feel guilty for
ever having installed any software on your computer besides
the Jehovah Virus.
The Anubis Virus checks the computer for pirated software:
if it finds any, it erases the bios chip. If it finds none,
it carefully cleans out all unwanted and useless software,
fixes any bugs it finds, and eliminates all bad sectors on
the hard drive.