Deity Viruses. (Also Known as: If the Gods Were Viruses).

written by Wulf Lokison 
Many of us have heard of the "It Takes Guts to Say Jesus" 
Virus (Which by the way, is a hoax). Some have speculated 
about another possible "Jesus Virus", which, even if you 
clean it off your hard drive, returns in three days. 

There are other, less well known Deity Viruses, each with 
their own unique signature behavior. Here I list a few of 
them. 

The Demeter Virus freezes your entire computer for six 
months. 

The Loki virus messes with your system, do all kinds of 
things to totally create chaos with the puter, then 
installs incredibly useful software that you never dreamed 
of using. 

The Valkyrie Virus would completely kill your hard drive, 
then would transform your computer into a new model filled 
with wargames and gourmet recipe software, all from 
Valhalla Software. 

The Odin Virus would hang up your screen for nine days, 
then would fill your email with cryptic messages. 

The Selene Virus would alternately fill up and erase your 
hard drive, every 28 days. 

The Zeus Virus will interact with every piece of software 
on your computer, reproducing itself in many new and unique 
forms. 

The Hera Virus identifies all software infected with the 
Zeus Virus, or it's progeny, and will attempt to delete it 
from your computer, often with disastrous results. 

The Jehovah Virus destroys all other software on your 
computer, promises incredible future benefits if you ONLY 
use it's propietary code, then makes you feel guilty for 
ever having installed any software on your computer besides 
the Jehovah Virus.
 
The Anubis Virus checks the computer for pirated software: 
if it finds any, it erases the bios chip. If it finds none, 
it carefully cleans out all unwanted and useless software, 
fixes any bugs it finds, and eliminates all bad sectors on 
the hard drive.